Your father’s in the Chris Craft
You frame between your skis,
Waiting for his son to make the call.
Your cousins all had their turns,
And they’re yawning at you now—
They think all you know how to do is fall.

But this time, when he hits it,
The thought gets in your head
That standing up’s just standing, after all.
The boat erupts in cheering
As you bounce across its wake,
And if you don’t let go
You’ll never have to fall.

No more feeling clumsy fish
Brush against your skin.
No more feeling grit between your toes.
No more feeling anything
That takes you by surprise,
Or having to decide which way to go.

How long have you been up there
On the surface in the sun,
Above the reef where starfish used to crawl?
When where you are is nothing
But a step toward where you’ll be,
If you don’t let go, how’re you gonna fall?
If you don’t let go,
How’re you ever gonna fall?

Friday night, almost dawn,
Lights in the kitchen, everybody gone home.
Then here you come with your wings on wrong
Out of the bathroom, picking up this song.
Do you believe
The nights seem a little lonely lately?

Smell the lake—must be spring.
Lock my bike to a diamond ring.
Shade’s so cold, but the sun’s so hot,
Might get work done, then again might not.
Do you believe
The nights seem a little lonely lately?
Do you believe the days seem lonely too?

I know you’ve been hurt now
And you’re trying to let go.
You seem undecided about what to take slow.
I’ve used my best tricks up
Just trying to make good,
Like the sun between branches, sky on a river.

Wide asleep, fast awake.
Still no call. (I need it but it could wait.)
What I’ve done, let it speak for me.
I’m worse than some, better than I could be.

Do you believe
You still want to hang around so near me?
Do you believe
You won’t want to see me weekly merely?

You could fill up this silence
With the things I don’t know.
I might be misguided—it’s hard to go slow.
You could fill up this silence
With the things I did wrong,
But you stand there waiting.tion text goes here

Meaning to play, oh meaning to play.
I get my best work done on a Saturday.
If it comes out splendid
It’s because I just intended to play.

Snowflake went to the children
All upset about Daisy—
That horsey hurt her feelings
Saying Snowflake was lazy.
I can’t find a job, she said,
I haven’t got a car,
My office skills are limited,
And I can’t see very far.

Snowflake, sweetheart,
You’re doing your share.
We’re the ones that made you,
And we made you to care.
We needed a friend
Who would be solid and true,
And only a snow-covered
Pink pig would do.

Hey, look at Snowflake now—
She’s playing duck duck goosey
With a horse and a cow.
When your fun’s at stake
It’s amazing the friends you can make.

Meaning to play, oh meaning to play.
You’d be surprised what started out that way.
I’ll show you what I’m made of,
Even if it’s papier-mâché.

The next day Friendly told me,
That Daisy’s kind of blue.
I went up to Daisy
And I asked her was that true.
She said, It’s hard to be a horsey.
It’s taking its toll.
Daisy was having
A dark night of the soul.

Daisy, sweetheart, look here, I said.
You’re letting those problems
Get too big in your head.
I dried off her tears
So she wouldn’t fall apart.
She fell asleep dreaming
Of a brand-new start.

Hey, look at Daisy now—
She’s wearing garlands of flowers
While she’s pulling that plow.
The farmer might frown,
But you can’t keep a good horsey down.

Meaning to play, oh meaning to play.
Stick to your dreams
And there’ll be heaven to pay.
The big green statue
Started off as a batch of brown clay.

Daisy apologized
And righted her wrongs.
I sat down that night
And I writed this song.
I did it for fun,
I didn’t do it for greed.
I like how it goes
More than I care where it leads.

Every now and then
When I’m at my guitar
I get a kind of feeling,
And the feeling goes far.
I’m so happy my guitar’s on my knee,
And my guitar’s so happy
That it’s got me

To play, oh meaning to play
I do my very best work done on a Saturday.
The tower’s still leaning,
And the chapel’s still Sistining,
Ice-cream’s still got
Xanthan gum and carrageenan,
And the oceans are still careening,
Meaning to play.

IteThe chance I took so long to take
Can burn out just as sure
As ones I scooped up with both hands can shine.
All that time I took to wonder
Things I might find out . . . .
Best trust my ears and eyes.

Some guys you just tell yourself,
Aw—it’s one of them,
And some make you stop and say, Look—it’s him!
So I go for broke and get there—
Least I tried my best.
(Sometimes I’m right, I guess.)

Handsome and kind, handsome and kind.
He never says one thing that’s just what people say.
Handsome and kind, handsome and kind.
I know I’m supposed to like him.
I’m gonna like him anyway.

You might not know what train to catch
Or how to skip a stone.
I hear you’ve been known to wear stripes and plaid.
But din’t you dogsit twice for me?
And when it looked like rain
Took my chair inside in time.

Handsome and kind, handsome and kind,
Though you’d wish that weren’t the first thing people say.
Handsome and kind, handsome and kind.
I know I’m supposed to like you.
I’m gonna like you.

Miss Watson and the Widow Douglas
Did what no one else in our town would—
They cleaned me up proper
To turn me into something good.
So I paddle down to Jackson’s Island,
Find a cave to sit the storm out in,
And who’s there but Miss Watson’s Jim.

She never did me any kind of harm I knew,
And here’s Jim running off to steal his family too,
But bad’s the only calling I was raised to do.

Fishing with him, when our shoulders touched,
I felt like I wasn’t alone.
With him on the raft I was more than just
Some thing my daddy owned.
He talked about his wife and daughter—
It made you want to cry,
But then I’d think what folks would say
And I felt so dirty inside.

So I start a letter, Dear Miss Watson,
I got your contraband Jim with me.
Send bounty men to fetch him.
Here’s where we ‘re gonna be.
I could feel the face of God smiling,
Seeing such a troubled child turn true,
And I tore that letter in two.

If I ever broke a mirror Jim’d take the spell,
And he fished me from the river
When I tripped and fell.
If it’s hell it takes to save him let me go to hell.
I’ll go to hell.

I’m proud to be a doctor’s son.
The water’s hot, the driveway clean,
The smell on Thursday afternoons
Of fresh-cut grass and gasoline.

And when our neighbor Chris got cut
On a sprinkler head, playing tag at night,
My father sewed his foot and told him,
Just make sure you keep it dry.

He skipped his day on the Gulfstream course.
We snorkeled the reef at the Seahorse Inn,
Watched a moray snarl, and picked up
Sea glass brown and blue and green.

When I was twelve we lived in Spain.
He took us skiing at the Val d’Arán.
I tasted wine from a glass porrón
And learned ten words of Catalan.

I’m proud to be a doctor’s son.
He did what he struck out to do—
Left his Indiana town
To work on Atlantic Avenue.

All I can find of my childhood today
Is a shortcut through Friday afternoon—
A Scotch-plaid cooler, a friend with no bike,
And blue sky around the white moon.

All I can find of my drugstore guitar
Is a song with all the answers left out.
Long though I held back to wander inside,
What could that song tell me now?

My mother raised mangoes, gardenias, and me,
High as her brown arms allowed.
Wherever or when I pick up a garden hose
It’s her plants I’m watering now.

Ghost nets line the floor,
iPhone cameras pan the fields of tribal war.
Lie down, lie down.
Wall Street trips in fraud,
Someone’s hungry children bomb themselves for God.
Lie down, lie down.
No night rain that I can’t stand
If I know you know me.

Let them whip the world,
Let them try to change our diamonds into pearls.
Lie down, lie down.
So their engines turn in that stroke they tried
To make the kingfish learn.
Lie down, lie down.
How right can it be to be sad
If I know you know me?

You’ve been making it
Just in time enough for now.
I’ve spent too long outside to let you.

Just one cold night left.
I can’t hold you if you have to hold your breath.
Lie down, lie down.
I can’t keep you near
Unless the only place you are is here.
Lie down, lie down.
Light out—fly a little bit harder
I know you know me.

Nobody put us in a song like you.
Bless the strings you reached us through,
Playing parties while your sweetheart slept.
Even the lions and the tigers wept.
Nobody ever had a love like you—
A clearer eye, or a heart more true—
But at your wedding she was crossing the field,
A fucking viper got a taste of her heel.
Look back.

You saw the only plan to take unfold
Like it was scrawled on an ancient scroll:
Do what no other man ever could,
And fetch her back from the underworld.
You stuck your harp up under your arm,
Got your bearings, and you left the farm.

You really want to go down there?
Do you really want to go down there?
But who’s gonna bring her back if you won’t?
You’re damned if you do,
She’s damned if you don’t.

Hades couldn’t believe his eyes—
A mortal walking his dark paradise.
Said, I think I know what you’re here about,
But you can’t look at her on your way out.
You’re almost up the tunnel now, the sky’s in sight,
When all the sudden you see the light:
Sure it’s sad to lose your oldest friend,
But now you’re gonna have to be a husband again.

I never knew what cold could be
Till we lived in Randall.
Had a cord of wood all leaning on one match.
I loved how that cast iron would sound
As the big room let its shoulders down,
Like nothing outside the stove could ever catch.
I’ll be there if you want me, unless I need to.

Parties through those pretty years,
The power in just the dancing
Cranked so hard it felt against the law.
The glass had such a hold on us
We had to keep an eye out
Or might have got sucked down in single-malt.
I’ll be there if you want me, unless I need to.

Debbie told us about the guide
She met in Guatemala,
Walked tourists through the pyramids every day.
He’d splash the walls with kerosene
To make the colors brighter
Even while it ate the paint away.
I’ll be there if you want me, unless I need to.

Somewhere behind the house
I thought I might feel
Some hand I’d held too tight
Say how wrong it had been to grow.
Just when I was so strong
No rescue could throw me,
Or too weak to be free,
You made light of me.

I almost said to you,
You never knew me.
That night’s burned off us now.
I don’t have anything to say.
Every time you did right
I’d make like you owed me.
Dark was all I could see,
And you made light of me.

When the green man gave in to the tame,
And the mountain was mocked by the tree,
And all I could hear was my name,
And the jailer turning his key,
And I did it and I got the blame,
And the Greek boy fell into the sea,
And I stayed up all night just to say
My sins like a rosary,
You made light of me.

The sound man faded Fire and Rain to black.
The tip jar stood half full on a chair.
Such a hush fell over the crowd of twenty-three
You might have thought that only ten were there.
I made my way from the spotlit stage
Through almost every word of every tune,
But then you walked across the room.

I’ve had kings with thrones in gated realms.
I’ve had soldiers with fortunes. I’ve had men
Who left me gasping on the beach so long
It seemed no one could throw me back but them.
One or two regaled me with such charm
We nearly stood together groom and groom,
But then you walked across the room.

If all you’d had were the looks of Matt or Paul,
I could’ve walked away with hardly a tear.
I could’ve done well enough on my own,
If all you’d had were the mind of Shakespeare.
You might have let me go my way in peace
And flown without a rocket to the moon,
But you stood up and crossed the room.

I want a man mixed up just right:
Soft in the morning and mean at night.
A pound of sense and an ounce of courage.
I want a man like Baby Bear’s porridge.

I want a man with tastes like mine.
Not so rich that we have to dine,
Not so poor that we have to forage.
I want a man like Baby Bear’s porridge.

I want a man with a few good friends—
A couple of women, a couple of men,
Not the kind with a big entourage.
I want a man like Baby Bear’s porridge.

Good friends are always friends,
And they always get on the scene.
Kolos at Vassina!

Top-flight lodging and dining down by the sea.
Kolos at Vassina!

Girls here we will liking them,
Though we all die bravely for this.
Kolos at Vassina!

Far enough today
I can’t see back to where I started
tell me I can stay
& bring the days I squandered back to me
cut me free Manalapan

Let’s walk down the pier
& kick our heels against the pilings
I’ve got time to hear
the story of your fortythousand&
onenight stand Manalapan

Did you hear that voice out from the Gulfstream
again now? it’s just wind in the pines
Did you see that loggerhead this evening
again now? right here the tracks turn round
to make their way back down to the sea

Friday night I’ll buy
it can’t be long till my luck changes
every time I try
to bring myself in line as best I can
I win again Manalapan

When I had to steal
you helped me make it look like mine
& when my closet friend
had told me I’d worn my red carpet thin
you took me in Manalapan

Drive on in to town
we’ll talk too loud to hear the warnings
let the bridge come down
I feel the days rush by & lift my hand
they’re ours again

Let sorrow wander on the wing
let the cynics shit on everything
let the whole be sundered
the finger from the ring
I surfed the riptide & I got back to the shore
a fin brushed against me
I just want more

Let heaven quit me in my sin
let mercy fall to reckoning
let fire & brimstone conspire against the spring
the dark angel passed me with no mark on my door
& let me off with a warning
I still want more

Though when you took me I was young
though you professed that you were strong
though what you told me
I hope might turn out wrong
I’ll take my chances I did all right before
I don’t want everything
I just want . . . .

On the road to Arlington
trying to keep my sugar down
it’s after fifteen after
the Cambridge rush will meet this sidewalk soon
Since I left two years ago
the town pushed through this fourlane road
& lined somebody’s pockets
but I swear now I won’t talk what talk can’t change

All through Arlington
anyone had his head on straight he’d run
signs well up like sparks in the snow
like seeds upon stone

The plot that hotel’s rising on
it’s there I raised my wife & son
but nothing’s up to code now
she cut me out & auctioned off the wound
So I read my Bible last night
by the hazard flasher light
but every page I turned to
that book just showed me one more way I’d lose

All through Arlington
where’d they hide that turn I used to know?
thrown out by the rotary onto Sagamore . . . .

High Street I’m too late to hear
the midnight ride of Paul Revere
still I brought my sidearm
who knows some redcoat just might come by here
On the road to Arlington
I read that signal all too strong
it’s after twenty after
she’ll pass by on the way to his house soon

All through Arlington
anyone had my head on straight he’d run
signs well up like sparks in the snow
like seeds upon stone

One more time I heard the same old line
I’d’ve broken down
all I needed was a chance to leave
& it came around
when your kite’s been treed
draw a slingshot bead
with a ketchup seed
& get right back on again

Once I dreamed that you were all you seemed
at your coming out
then last night I saw the seamy side
I’d been told about
yeah you trashed my pride
it was a catamount ride
but at least I tried
to get right back on again

If I’d found a way to hold my ground
I’d’ve made a play
I was not glad to see the little I had of it fade away
yeah I’m broke again
but in a while I’ll mend
’cause when I fall I tend
to get right back on again

Some old timers say the scene’s
all climbers & sycophants
but I’d go mad to think of all I mighta had
if I took a chance
I got here today
& it’s not bad as they say
& I’m gonna find a way to get right back
it’s a Hobson’s choice
it’s a still small voice
but I’m gonna keep my poise
& get right back on again

I wait a little bit longer
before I cross the street
thinking of you
I want to make it safe back home
I only feel it stronger
the more I drag my feet
when I leave you
I always leave too soon

I’ll stake it all today
let the lightning chase the sharks away
stay sweet morning stay
watching the rain come down
you’re a plain white t-shirt in a tourist town

& If you never give me
a penthouse in the Grove
does it matter?
there’s nothing there I need
I know my heart is in me
breaking like a wave underwater
& I’ll go where it leads

I meant to take my time
but the hook was set & you held the line
now to my shock I find
what looking never would’ve found . . . .

It’s been a good autumn of kinda settling down
& that’ll make a long vacation
of waking up without you around
it’s hard enough to see you getting on that plane
but thinking of you home all Christmas
trying not to say my name . . . .

Honey don’t think your mama don’t know
she’s the one that pulled you up
from a gleam in her eye to a big-eared pup
you can bring it up or not
just don’t think she don’t know

I can’t imagine either of us having a kid
but if a son of mine gave his heart away
I’d want to know about it if I did
I never met your mom enough to say she’s wise
& she’s not quite family
but she’s got two good eyes

Honey don’t think your mama don’t know
it wasn’t just a slacker fad
to keep a Playgirl underneath the mattress pad
maybe you can fool your dad
but don’t think she don’t know

It isn’t just the wishing that you’d say my name
& I’m not the kind to tell you
we have to go about it the same
but since she always wanted you to tell her the truth
take her at her word on this one
she could even make a convert of you

Honey don’t think your mama don’t know
din’t she name you Troy
to remind you what to buy when you find a boy?
go ahead & play it coy
just don’t think she don’t know

Clouds on the water
dragging the rain like ficus vines
every now & then there a lampshadeflashing
longboats shackled
a nine turns over the streetlights click
cheating off of the moon
leaking down on the dark waves crashing

Five miles inland
a halfsunk gator with headlight eyes
blinks again at the bird in the weeds on the surface
a green pool table
suddenly ripping a wing stalls out
& then everything stops
& a man says man where was I

These summer nights have just been poured
bright dark blue as a man o’ war
I seen the sky & I heard the shore
& I’m in kinda between
the cheap walls shake & the blinds swell in
it’s you & the jukebox trading a grin
& aren’t you the guy with the hot red car
pulled that sun down again

“He took a breath & dived that night from the inlet
& got halfway up Manalapan . . . .”

Some dark garden
touched by the shade of the grapefruit trees
here & there & the fire of a royal poinciana
just by the gutter
a vine hangs over the crackedtile roof
& maybe every ten years
sends a bowl full of white spikes blooming

These summer nights have just been poured
how’d I never get a taste before
if I stretch just a little more
my feet might reach the floor
you walk in & the barstools spin
the dumb stop talking & the beermugs ring
you might be the guy with the hot red car
but how can I know for sure?

These summer nights have just been poured
a little bit of chaos been restored
& if I had to say an angry word
I don’t know where I’d begin
you walk out & the stars all spin
big dream looming at the back of the wind
you wanted a ride in a hot red car
well open the door & get in

What should I wear
what should I wear to get my car repaired?
if I had my jeans
I picked up bruised in ’82
with the roots that grow out blue along the seams
would he think more of me?

How should I know
how should I know how much my oil should weigh?
if I should guess
& say fortyweight this once instead of yes
would he charge me less?

I’ve been to the end of War & Peace & the secret
beach at Nice I’ve had a singapore sling in
Singapore & shots of ouzo in Crete but never in all
my life have I been past the NO CUSTOMERS
PAST THIS POINT point gonna get there one of
these days though & write the travel section of the
washingtonpost scoop woodward&bernstein

What should I hum
what should I hum until the work gets done?
am I so wrong
to think the man with the chevron shirt & the sears fatigues standing next to the machine that says don’t go ’round hungry might be inclined towards country?
& what is country?

The lightning lit up mountains & the thunder crashed
& while the news was crackling food & drinks were passed
I knew what questions I was not supposed to ask
I found a box of candles
you filled up a jug with water
really everything went smoothly
just that once I slipped & dropped a glass

I set my table on the porch outside
& tried to read a novel by the inside light
then I remembered & turned up the World Series
in case the wind that howled until the trees ached
wasn’t loud enough to drown out the telephone call
I didn’t want to hear you make

I know that this will all pass soon
I know whatever happens I’ll pull through
I try to keep myself distracted
I’ve got my own life to lead
leaves to rake & books to read
but it’s everywhere I look

Sometimes I talk as if I’m by myself
I hear myself go on as if I’m someone else
I was unraveling when you finally stopped me
& I know what your eyes said
& I wanted it so bad
I wish that I had a moment with you

This wind blew half the leaves down last night
the day rouses & turns on its side
outside the bedroom window
last night’s rain is still falling
from the gutter to the garden
like notes on a playerpiano reel
I can’t seem to get started today

I know you didn’t want this too
I know I can’t put life on hold for you
still every time a car slows down
you’re halfway to New York by now
you only left an hour ago
but I wish that next Thursday were here

Pretending I was sleeping
pretending you were true
you were wishing I was someone else
& I was wishing you were you
but an hour to myself & I lose track
the story ended badly & now I want it back

Think again heart
remind yourself what happened last time
stay awake now
don’t let’s close your eyes
we’ll make it one beat after another

Outside it was raining
as far as it could rain
you made me watch you smile at him
& I made you watch my pain
if something inside me starts to spin
like a song I can’t stop singing
if I let myself begin . . . .

Hard to get our hopes up
when the times we get the most love
are the times we look away

All my things are packed now
I’m halfway to the car
I stop & hear the phone inside ringing in the dark
if I find the ties between us looking strong
if I start to think I’m wise enough
to prove the clichés wrong . . . .

Tom I write from Hapgood’s office
when I get a chance to write at all
the air’s not that much sweeter
here than on the ward
still I want to hear them if they call

A crowd came in last week from Fredericksburg
I met a soldier close to you
he brought the sniper’s ball
that missed your charming head
the day the bridge you built went through

I think of you by some campfire sleeping
or lying in your tent awake
thinking out how you might write me
what you couldn’t say

Tobacco brandy milk & peaches
white sleeves cut short & sewn
the halfbuilt monument out rising with the moon
like a tree that’s half cut down

& While the shoulderstraps at Willard’s
argue vintages & dine
another soldier turns to marble
another surgeon draws his line

But out while this marsh I love lay sleeping
once I could have sworn I heard music play
& one soldier’s eyes stretched out to me
a little light

& I know that if we make it through this year alive
after it all somewhere
out of it somewhere . . . .

Tom I know too much to kid myself
I used to watch the men you teased
& things they did that brought you
tumbling into them
made you back away from me

Tom I never may recapture
the fire I had in ’55
but I’d gladly let that sweet line go
to bring that dream we had to life

Or just to be sure I might hold onto you
& see your marching home parade
reach out to touch your collar
& set it right

They hoovered up the backbeat
& took the muzzles off the houselights
& the pickup lines lie bleeding on the floor
the bouncer’s in his glory
he knows we’re all saluting him
when we raise our hands to shade our eyes
as he herds us out the door

Goodnight Friday Night
it’s been a pleasure
but the time it is is time that I got home
it’s a shame to drink & run
all the same I could never
of did all I got done here on my own

I used to be a former drunk
I turned a new leaf over twice
now it’s back to where it used to be
If I bum a buck for a bite to eat
don’t say you know I’m lying
what you’ve got for hungry now
just tastes like thirst to me

Goodnight Friday Night
I’d like to tarry
but the big hand on the cop is pointing home
I did the best I could
all the same I could never
pretend I got down this far on my own

Friday you keep leaving me
for days without a phone call
(you say it’s six I know it’s nine or ten)
well you just go on thinking
that no one else will have me
’cause I got word that Saturday
is gonna make me an honest man

Goodnight Friday Night
I think I’ll walk home
just leave my car with Sunday afternoon
if I take off right now
I can still beat the paper
& not have to read how bad I’ve been so soon
Goodnight Friday Night
it’s been a pleasure

Wild nights—Wild nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!

Futile—the Winds—
To a Heart in port—
Done with the Compass—
Done with the Chart!

Rowing in Eden—
Ah! the Sea!
Might I but moor—Tonight—
In Thee!

Come on out, Daniel
It’s one night left in my leave
You might look back & wish you’d spent with me
You know in Elkton that car I told you?
I went ahead & bought it
Not much time to drive it
Thirteen months since Baghdad fell
They still can’t turn the heat down
But I won’t back out now
You don’t ask & I won’t tell
Put your skinny arm around my shoulder

Back in grade school
My back yard was Viet Nam
& we took ‘em on like Rambo & Van Damme
In that same foxhole last night I held you
I think of what that felt like
Think what they’d do to me .. . .
But can’t this Mustang take the rain?
Let’s fly below the radar
Till the black trees turn to green
Windshield wipers call my name
Dogwoods one white blur along the shoulder

What’s that, Daniel? It’s light outside
Don’t you clean up nice though in a black suit & a tie
I’m here & not here, & I can’t say why
Something about headlights
Something about sirens
Though they might not ask you now
Tell ‘em all the story of a man who loved you well
End it with the sound of rain
Falling on the box against your shoulder

Close to three before I cross this mountain
Close to not much here tonight to make front-page news:
The caution signs that flare & pass
The moon behind its reading glass
The downhill curve I took so fast
The shoulder picked up one more black tattoo

Tipped across the skyline down towards Elkton
Wishing what to say to you would just come to mind
I whisper to my listening car
So lost in thoughts of where you are
I brake to miss a falling star
That arcs out long before it hits the ground

If I had some plans
That did not come to be
Maybe they seemed better off as dreams
& if you know me well
Don’t just hear the story I can’t tell
Hear the one I mean

Close to where you moved that night you left me
A highway sign got twisted round to take some back road
So if my magic words should stray
I’ll leave them here in my own way
& pick up all I need to say
The next time I get down by Elkton

Did you get your friend to say he’d
Miss you when you went away?
It’s not love
Walk by taking your pains to hide
All but your best side
It’s not love
Letting him see you give more
Than he gave up the time before
It’s not love
Get worked up about keeping score
& know it won’t be long before
It’s not love

Didn’t you want so hard to be
Setting yourself more than free
There’s not enough desire
To make love out of

Think you’d stick so close to light
If you’d never have known the night?
It’s not love
Letting the mad man win the fight
Just so you’ll be proven right
It’s not love, it’s not love

Can’t see the game for the prize
Can’t see the myth for the lies
There’s not enough fire
To make love out of

Try as they might the young men just can’t turn my smile
I’ll be smiling at you only this time
Let ’em all tell me that fire & ice are out of style
It’s my style to want you only this time
Trying to keep my heart & trying to let it down
I’ve been taking this tune to heart right now

Why’d I try to tell you just how good that felt?
I thought it over now this time
I’m gonna let this story talk all by itself
My part is over now
Trying to keep my guard & trying to let it down
I have taken this dream apart I know
Heat from light & I know
What’s strong from right & I know
My star’s been sighted over these hills again

One by one with the crowd in the night that’s all gone
I’m inclined to want you only this time
One side of me tired & aching for a sound
It’s my line to want you only this time
Late that night with the rain in secret coming down
I’ve been dying to want you only

You say that you’re leaving home
& you’re scared ’cause you tried that before
A week in the big world alone
You found yourself back again
Your family remind you how much they provide
They don’t know what you need to live
They just give you what they need to give
But here & here & here
Say what you want you’ve got it
Here & here & here . . . .

They tell you that’s not like you
They don’t even know who you are
They just see the child they knew
They think you won’t get too far
& some you call friends will do all that they can
To see you fall short of your peak
They’ll try to correct your mystique
But here & here & here
Be what you want you’ve got it
Here & here & here

These weeks stand up like candles
In a fifties Hitchcock train
That roars across a trestle
To the third act in the rain
These weeks are like the pages
Of a diary on some torn-up sea
A traveler might lose
That drift beneath the waves now
Too deeply to be moved

The way the kestrel’s head moves
When it lands to still the view
The way the current bulges
Where the boulder lets it through
This painting on the lampshade
Made of water in a dream you shared
These weeks are a sunscreen tattoo
The childhood song that turned back
& nearly spoke to you

These weeks are strangers’ faces
I find I’ve turned to yours
The heirloom mirror reeling
The moonlight on the floor
& if you let that wound heal
You’ll just be that much farther
From the way you were before
You feel like it might kill you
& you want to feel it more

Now John Kotalekis & I’d just met
& he smuggled rum & cigarettes
Into the field infirmary
Where I lay with my bandaged knee
We watched the moonlight flood the town
& inch by inch we made no sound
& when I raised my head I found
I’d come one or two steps forward underground
All aboard—keep an eye on the sign
that you lay your track toward

By a fishing pole stuck in the sand
I met an absolutely normal man
& the captains of your football dreams
Would look ordinary next to him
The screens were up but the doors were down
You could hear the breakers twist & pound
& when I came up for air I found
I’d come a few more steps forward underground
All aboard—home by home
that you’re headed back toward

Now & again I’ve seen the owl’s wing when it’s light out
Now & again knocked down an open door
I’ve seen an angel in his hide-out
Shaking on the floor
All aboard—when you recognize what you’ve never seen

As you were, boys, the captain in you said
The reb to get the best of is the one inside your head
It’s fear of fear, boys, you told them, trying to hear
The thrill those words put in you fresh off the boat last year
For all the world this war has shown you
& all the bones the brass have thrown you
How you wish these boys had known you as you were

This stubbled acre, in corn a year before,
That swollen ships bore eastward to feed the Irish poor
It’s all in frost now—a crust of mud so deep
The feet of Irish soldiers walk bleeding in your sleep
Still you’ll set their lines advancing
As long as they do all the dancing
& leave you when the smoke clears standing as you were

The harrow of the sun drags the sky out into view,
Though it’s still too dark for you to call it gray or blue
Pass out sprigs of boxwood for pride against the chill
Let Lee believe the woods themselves are charging up the hill

Think on back, boys to Galway in the fall,
You told them trying not to think of anything at all
The fields of Fredericksburg crash down like a tide
The one who runs the hardest is the highest one to ride
But if it be to God they’re going
Or where the winds of fire are blowing
You’ll leave this field as far from knowing as you were

I took on dragons in my youth—
Cheered on by pages slew them—
& held my gleaming chain mail dreams
While all my friends outgrew them
At eighteen still I felt a thrill
No doubt had ever shaken
& so I came to seek my fame
So sorely unmistaken
The days fell out end over end
Cast up like coins on the sand
More than I knew how to spend, everywhere

Every crowd I strode through proud,
Head high & never swerving
& those who fell, I told myself,
Had proven undeserving
Fortune’s fist at my one kiss
Lay down so open-handed
It seemed to me I ne’er need see
My hard heart countermanded
Courtiers all called out my name
In sighs that all sounded the same
& no raging foe but grew tame, everywhere

Though I’d bear nor want nor care
One need was my distraction:
Some odd jack who’d watch my back
Whose own I’d stand for watching
A costume ball one Carnival
I spied your fiery Grendel,
& as I watched my fingers sought
My broadsword’s wooden handle
A bird nest I’d found in the ferns
An uncommon word I had learned
I just caught your face as you turned

The faces blurred, or all but yours,
Your smile so freshly angered
I would as soon have quit that room
& turned our heat to languor
Until in just one misspent thrust
I failed to miss my target
& from your pale green costume scales
Withdrew a real-life scarlet
The dark summer leaves now defend
A light none could hide from me then
& I never saw you again, everywhere

I would pull your weeds by candlelight
Just like you show me if I can
You’d have thought by now I’d get this right
Still like as not beside the pile I’ll find impatiens in
The tangle in my hand
I would clean your pie safe dish by dish—
Those back-up pans your house outgrew
& the best intended Christmas gifts,
Then, look, behind them all that vase
You brought by hand from Spain
I broke & tried to glue
Warm square of sunlight passes
Wipe down the dishwashed glasses
I hear, hear you in the Revere ware

I’d arrive some late night by surprise
Wait till next day to get unpacked
I remember where you keep the key
Still, more & more with every year I find what I forget
To do is put it back
Walk through the darkened hallway
Both hands out before me
I hear, hear you in the Revere ware

Though whatever I give to you
Turns out just like something I’d give myself
As boys’ gifts tend to do . . . .

Even here my would-be graceful words
Pile in my hands like contour sheets
Full of bulges where there should be folds
Till all at once I feel your hands come next to mine to make
The wayward corners meet
Bare feet, sunburnt tiling
Backsplash, kitchen island
Eight bells, chimes the rack of Revere ware

Thread your way back home through the rows of uniforms
Salesmen dressed in suits darkened by the storm

I am weaker than I ever was
And stronger than I ever was
A black leaf in a gray sky
Tumbling up the wind
Don’t go yet–can you write another line
This one time?

Now you give your ring to a whorehouse madam
Now you set your feet on a torn macadam

You’ve seen it in your mind’s eye
But now it’s at your door
And you’re afraid if you can touch it
You won’t want to anymore
Don’t go yet–can you write another line
This one time?

Each false step you take will make good reading
No one sees the times you kept from cheating

I am older than I ever was
And calmer than I ever was
Gray against a yellow sky
Shined up in the wind
Don’t go yet–can you write another line?
I think I’ve seen your face before
Didn’t you and I both miss that war?
Well since then I’ve missed several more . . . .

Have a seat on the sofa
get yourself something to drink
shake that pack you might find a cigarette
if this had been a hit song I’d have paid off this guitar
but I’d lose my excuse to sing off-key
and I’m not that brave quite yet

No big ol’ lights on a Saturday night
have made me a bit of who I am
I don’t mind three-dollar wine and I guess I won’t too soon
won’t be a kept monkey on TV country
I’ll be the king of my living room

Once I was a DJ
but the list didn’t leave much room
never could tell the ads from the top ten
I’d smuggle in a good song
but only now and then
’cause the boss who checked on my work
had another boss checking on him

No big ol’ lights on a Saturday night
have made me a bit of who I am
I don’t mind three-dollar wine and I guess I won’t too soon
I’d rather sing from a futon
than be a old Wayne Newton
I’ll stay the king of my living room

And I don’t think that just because you sell you’ve sold out
but I can’t count this thing I need
it’s more the way the smell of clean water leads to the sea

Can’t chase the cold off reaching in a bag of tricks
or putting up Markee Mark on a marquee
can’t trust a blackout that candlelight can’t fix
say it’s got something for everyone
then I know it’s got nothing for me

No big ol’ lights on a Saturday night
have made me a bit of who I am
I don’t mind ten-dollar wine and I guess I won’t too soon
won’t be Gene Autrey
and have a talk show flaunt me
I’ll be the king of my living room
I’ll be the king of my living room

If I were a thunderstorm
I’d let you tie a string to me
and if I were a radio
I’d stop to let you sing to me

If I were a waterfall
I’d let you see your face in me
and if I were an alibi
I’d let you leave no trace in me

High on the ledge
all night I sing the rain right down
I smile against my will upon your darkened town
how well I know
that I can never win your heart of stone

If I were a liar I’d say
“I will keep my word” for you
and if I were a boxing man
I’d fall down in the third for you

If I were a bag of tea
I’d let you make your cup from me
and if I were a nightmare I would
even wake you up from me

High on the ledge
all night I watch the snow come down
my frozen eyes look coldly on your careful town
how well I know
that I can never win your heart of stone

If I were a killer whale
I’d charge up on the sand for you
and if I were a mosquito
I’d fly right through the fan for you

I’ve prayed all my life to change
to anything I can for you
but if you loved me I would even
be this thing I am for you

High on the ledge
all night I watch the world come round
my pagan eyes look down upon your Catholic town
how well I know
that I could never change your heart of stone

Why weep ye by the tide lady
why weep ye by the tide
I’ll wed ye to my youngest son
and ye shall be his bride
and ye shall be his bride lady
so comely to be seen
but ay, she let the tears doon fall
for Jock O’Hazeldean

Now let this willful grief be done
and dry your cheeks so pale
young Frankie’s Chief of Errington
and Lord of Langleydale
his step is first in peaceful hall
his sword in battle keen
but ay, she let the tears doon fall
for Jock O’Hazeldean

A coat of gold ye shall nae lack
nor combs to bind your hair
nor mettled hound nor managed hawk
nor palfrey fresh and fair
and you the foremost of them all
will ride–our forest queen
but ay, she let the tears doon fall
for Jock O’Hazeldean

The kirk was decked at morningtide
the tapers glimmered fair
the priest and bridegroom await the bride
and dame and knight were there
they searched for her in bower and hall
the lady was nae seen
she’s crossed the border and awa’
with Jock O’Hazeldean

The fleas never die in Delray
and the patio peppers with mold
salt spray fogs on the windshield
and the tap water never gets cold
palm trees clatter in the east wind
sprinklers stagger in the rain
taking that water from the sawgrass
and they give it to the city drain

I worked one summer out at King’s Point
where the cranes set the houses down
like miles of igloo coolers
and we stapled on the roofs with a gun
I said I can’t wait till the storm comes
and that might not have been fair
but if they were all gone by sunrise
the landscape might not care

Bear me out waterspout
I watch you tide by tide
everybody gets what I say they’ve got coming.

The place I never have been yet
is the place I’ll never see
and all my friends are famous
now as they’re ever gonna be
we bite the hand that buys us
and that might not be kind
nobody can stop progress
from leaving us all behind

Still I catch my throat on a fishing boat
I watch it tide by tide
everybody gets what I say they’ve got coming.

You ask me when to go fishing
to catch your money’s worth
but the only good time to go fishing
is when you were all back up north
I been here long as I remember
–since I turned 63–
just go on back to where you came from
everybody except me

It’s past its prime but now it’s mine
and now that I’m here I’ll make my peace with it
I’ll knock for good
on the rotten wood
that drifts in tide by tide

Things you used to tell me early on
they’ve come to mean so much now
you said you’d wake up one day and I’d be gone
and I told you to hush now
now and then I find the trail you left
but it’s too steep to let me catch my breath
and I can’t tell if I’ve been running from or running to
after you, after you, after you

Things I had not even thought I knew
now I’ve come to doubt them
how could this same fire that burns me not burn you?
and will it soon go out then?
I don’t know how you still turn my head
I don’t know why the gold turned back to lead
and I don’t know if I want those things I’ll finally get to do
after you, after you, after you

Sometimes I pass by the place we met
and drank away the evening
we’ve spun round and round so long now I forget
which one of us is leading
maybe all that dance was nothing more
than some Alphonse-Gaston act at the door
both of us refused to be the first one to get through
after you, after you, after you

Someone put my name up on the blackboard
someone put this pool stick in my hand
long as I’ve got Schlitz and you’ve got Chambord
I’m yours to have and hold now
in sickness and insane
oh I’ll thank you not to wake me
if I believe you’ll take me on again

Roll that stick on the table
put another quarter in the slot
let’s not dwell on
the time we haven’t got
I don’t know if I’m in love with you
but I don’t know if I’m not
break ’em up now
let’s see what you got
break ’em up now

It’s true that life’s a comedy for thinkers
tragic though it seems to those who feel
I don’t know what that says about you drinkers
a sweet dream or a nightmare
drinking makes it real
oh the glass might be halfempty
but it’s full enough to tempt this man of steel

Roll that stick on the table
put another quarter in the slot
let’s not dwell on
the time we haven’t got
I don’t know if I’m in love with you
but I don’t know if I’m not
break ’em up now
give it all you got
break ’em up now

You stay behind the bar when I’ve come all this way to see you
like you got more important things to do
if you can spare a minute between mixing drinks and signals
have you got five singles for a two?

Tomorrow I’ll take back my job at Mayflower
packing up pilgrims to Pompano
I’ll windowshop the pickup trucks at rush hour
for a scraggly wire antenna
and plates from Ohio
oh you’ll be drumming on the dashboard
though they stole your Kenwood long ago

Roll that stick on the table
put another quarter in the slot
let’s not dwell on
the time we haven’t got
now I’m looking in your eyes, dear
and you’re looking at your watch
break ’em up now
carve yourself a notch
leave me sweet now

I live in a trailer park between Pantry Pride
and the IHOP at nine o’clock every night
the train passes so close I feel
like I’m a bearing in a wheel
sometimes I get up about five a.m.
stop by the curb where they leave the bread
go down to the ocean and hide
in the seagrapes until dawn

And the sun comes up inside the clouds
and the waves yawn out and the waves charge in
and I feel so good I want to say to the world
don’t turn don’t turn don’t turn

I get along all right with my friends at school
but they treat me like somebody said to be nice
and the way they call each other “tourist”
well who the hell are they
there’s a place at the marina I got a job
bussing tables for a tenth of the waiters’ tips
but I’ll lose it if I can’t stop looking
at the drift boats coming in

And the drawbridge bellows when the cars pass over
and an old man’s casting from behind the gate
little seagull flying by the silver bait
don’t turn don’t turn don’t turn

I saw a dolphin chasing something at high tide
I want to know where he’s gonna be when the
sun goes down tonight . . . .

I can’t wait for fall when the storms come down
me and my uncle go camping out west of town
he wants to take me up north with him
I can’t remember when I saw snow
when I get off I’m gonna go drink beer all night
I gotta say I think a lot of you I hope it’s all right
if we can get hold of my brother’s car
I think I know where I can get served

And I know you watch me from behind your hair
and I seen the way you touched my guitar
and I’ve heard what they say about you
and I don’t care don’t turn
I’m a right hand strumming up and down these strings
steady as the piston that measures the load
little brown deer running at the side of the road
don’t turn don’t turn don’t turn

We were never best friends
but if the time was right we might’ve been
he’d have the teachers scratching their heads
I’d know what he was saying
he was on the wrestling team
but in some ways I was stronger than him
broad of shoulder but thin of skin
he was hiding a lot of strain

There was something about him
something about him
running against himself
and afraid that he might win

Working on the float last year
talking through the chicken wire
we stayed awake till morning came
went snorkeling in the rain
it was calm but so stirred up
you really couldn’t see too much
an eagle ray swept over us
so close we felt its current

There was something about him
something about him
could’ve been full of sharks
I’d still have gone right in

We were near the Seahorse Inn
it closes when the season ends
in a closet full of soap and brooms
I found the key to the changing room
I can’t explain what happened next
to hold it back I did my best
it crumpled up inside my chest

Something about him
something about him
we sorted our clothes apart
and we put them on again

We were never best friends
maybe never would have been
we both had fourthperiod gym
but our eyes never met
he was on the wrestling team
but in some ways I was stronger than him
I try to change the things I can
the rest of them I forget

Bless me Father for I have sinned
I let myself have that nightmare again
the same blue hallway that not a single person was in
but it had to do with him
how many angels can dance
on the head of a firing pin
he might have made a good man
but he took it on the chin

Loa loa txunturrun berde
loa loa masusta
aita guria Gasteizen da
ama mandoan hartu ta

Loa loa txunturrun berde
loa loa masusta
aita guria abiatu da
Vitoriako ferira

Loa loa txunturrun berde
loa loa masusta
aita guriak diru asko du
ama bidean saldu ta

(Sleep Sleep

Sleep sleep little green twig
sleep sleep sugarplum
father’s in Gasteiz
mother’s on a big donkey

Sleep sleep little green twig
sleep sleep sugarplum
father has arrived
at the Vitoria Fair

Sleep sleep little green twig
sleep sleep sugarplum
father has a lot of money
he sold mother on the way

–Traditional Basque lullaby)

I don’t see your face now
when darkness falls
but time was I would
I hardly ever hear you
when no one calls
but time was I could

And I remember in that foreign town
the sound of your name all around me
and when I called you came and you found me
and took me as I was

I hardly hesitate now
when I open my door
but time was I would
I can’t draw your profile
from memory anymore
but time was I could

And I remember in that rust-belt town
the feel of your arms strong around me
the dream that ran so deeply it still bound me
after I awoke

I won’t get up and follow
just ’cause someone leads
but time was I would
I can’t pretend to borrow
everything I need
but time was I could
I thought I could time was

In spring I think of mornings
out walking with the dog
the little leaves that hung there
in the branches like fog
seedlings in the cold frame
on the eyebrow window shelf
they would’ve grown like wildfire
if good intentions helped

You’d tell me all your dreams then
and I’d lie back down in bed
and I’d try to reassure you
and cradle your head
perhaps I would have run then
if I’d known what I know now
ah but I’d have looked behind me
and broken any vow

And alive and right
and a little light later down to night

The pains we took with bone meal
and watering can and spade
where dandelions flourish
without us in the way
our life was like a garden
at times I’d think it was
but at best it was the garden
that reminded me of us

The leaves came down like snow
and then the snow fell
but underneath I’d feel
these seeds take shape
and these seeds will keep awhile
these seeds they will

I would’ve died to keep you
I would’ve changed to someone else
though it was a sin to say so
a sin that didn’t help
please don’t stay to console me now
for what you and God have done
go ahead and cut your roses
but don’t leave them in the sun

And alive at night
and a bit of night later down to light
And alive at night
and a bit of night later down to light

I think I’m out the door this time
I’ve torn up the tickets I told you I’d pay
and the peaks I always said I’d climb
I’ve put them aside for a sunnier day

The only way I’d have you was three foot deep in snow
and the only times you’d ask me you knew I couldn’t go

Faces that I daydreamed of
they don’t have the hold on me they had before
did I call what I felt for them love?
that was just make-up my loneliness wore

The only way I’d see you was three foot deep in snow
and the only times you asked me you knew I couldn’t go

Interstate for a waterfront
and a chip on your shoulder of granite and steel
forgive me if I don’t hang on
improvements like that take a long time to heal

The only way I’d take you was three foot deep in snow
and the only times you asked me you knew I couldn’t go

It’d take some Adam to make you Eden
give me the apple and we’ll call it even
you thought you’d won me but I was only beaten
I’ll darken your doorstep no more, Albany

Posters up on telephone poles
dates of things happening after I’m gone
string quartets and tractor pulls
except for the students I love college towns

Christmas Eve it’s raining, first of June it snows
and the only time I want you is when it’s time to go

It’ll take some distance to make you Eden
keep the apple, we’ll call it even
you thought you’d won me but I was only beaten
I’ll straddle your potholes no more
I can’t keep an eye on the forest at Albany